Finally I found the Merdeka theme for this 2014 celebration. Done with the paper work last night (after 3 hours spent to type each and every details!) and I only need to add this small details to complete my paper work and then submit to my superior. Work is nearly done. Though I freaking wish we don’t have that meeting. I dislike meeting. Period.
Monthly Archives: July 2014
Its not me to reveal my inner feelings in words but sometimes words can better describe how I feel. See, I am playing with words now. No, I am not going to write a tale here. Not even an essay. I will leave that to my students to write their essays.
Okay, I am not being real here. Not straight-to-the-point either. The point is, I am blabbering here for an obvious reason. I want to let you know how I feel. Right now, I am feeling miserable, out-of-earth-kind-of-feeling, annoyed, hideous, awful, and etc etc. Yes, I don’t describe it well. But you get the feeling, right?
Only Allah SWT knows how I tried to come up with various ways to overcome this, but still the outcome and flow is not what I imagined. Yes, we do not get what we want in life but the truth hurts. It cut deeps down like a blade and you just keep bleeding. And the more you ty to recover, they put more salt into your bleeding wounds. Ouch, that really hurts!
I tried and tried to be selfish but I failed miserably. Why can’t I save my heart or at least try to? I keep others’ feelings in check but why can’t I do the same to mine? Yes, I keep pondering about it as well. My tears are all drained now and I won’t cry. At least, not in public. Secluded, isolated, alone. Maybe. Keeping my feelings hidden. Thats what I do best, I guessed.
May Allah SWT grand me happiness one day and answers all my prayers. Save me from all this Allah. Sooner or later. Amin.